I was reading Mommy Geekology’s post on Valentine’s Day, and it got me thinking (as usual, she has good points). Well, I really started thinking when I read 2 Stew’s post (and giveaway) about Valentine’s Day, but didn’t blog about it until now. Plus there is the whole Joseph and Melanie 2.0, and I’m still trying to figure all of that out. So nothing, until now. Anyway.
I love Valentine’s Day. The thing is, it’s not like I don’t let myself love the rest of the year and store it all up for just one day, nor do I ignore those daily gestures of love and affection that are necessary in a relationship. I give tokens of affection (word, deed, or actual gift) when I please, and when the mood strikes. I am very loving, and like showing it. Heck, if I even like you, you’ve probably gotten something from me at some point, even if it was a hug. I just like to show how I feel. My mum always said that I wore my heart on my sleeve- and while I may have gotten more talented at hiding it as I have gotten older, I still prefer to be open about how I feel.
We are going to see a hockey game on Saturday night- the NJ Devils will be in town, and with their latest team acquisition, we couldn’t not go. I don’t know if it was necessarily a gift though, as I would have gone even if I wasn’t going with him. At first I was just a Devil’s fan because of him, but turns out they are a good team to be a fan of, so it just sort of stuck. So is it a gift? Not sure. I’m inclined to say no, because if the game had been any other date we would have still gone.
I absolutely despise this whole OMG YOU HAVE TO BUY EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER KNOWN SOMETHING FOR VALENTINE’S DAY. Um, no. No fucking way. I am of the opinion that unless I’m sleeping with you, or romantically attached in some way, you will not hear “Happy Valentine’s Day!” from my lips. It’s completely inappropriate, in my opinion. It’s a day for lovers, but Hallmark and Target try to make you forget that. I remember at my very brief stint as a cashier for Target (it was a great job, just didn’t pay very much), feeling completely incredulous at how many people came through with carts full of candy and cards and other little things. One guy in particular, was stressed out, because he got full gift bags FULL of items for each one of his kids (similar to an Easter Basket) and was worried that they wouldn’t think it was good enough. It was enough to make me want to cry for him.
While the over-commercialization of Valentine’s Day DOES annoy me, I think that giving a card or heartfelt letter to one’s lover is not just completely appropriate but essential. The thing is, I’m one of those people who wishes that people still wrote letters. I think that it’s a good idea to have a day where you make sure that you STOP and tell the person you love that you love them in a special way. I adore love. I think it’s the best thing in the whole world. I feel secure when I know I am loved- and devastated when I do not feel that way.
I might just be an emotional person. Wait, who am I kidding? There is no might about it. But to me, there’s no greater thing than love. Sensibly, though, I don’t think it’s asking too much for the guy in your life to get you flowers (even if it’s one single flower picked from a field) and a card (or a hand-written love letter) once a year. If he’s worth it, he’ll probably already do these things on a regular basis anyway.
I thought about writing a “if he really loves you” section. But the truth is, I don’t know what someone does if they really love someone else. In my book, they do whatever it takes, whatever that might be. For some, that might be letting their partner sleep in while they watch the kids for the morning. For others, that might be a surprise trip to their favorite place. For others, it might be a heartfelt note left on the nightstand, or a text message just to say I love you. And for yet others, it might just mean being there. No matter what.
Love is different for everyone. I don’t really know how to all is supposed to work out. I just know that I hope it does.
ETA: Do you have an “If he really loves you” submission? Heather thinks we should make a list….
I agree with you on most points but one. I think Valentine's day isnt just for lovers but also a great chance to show your friends that you care about them. I don't say you should get every single one something. That is just plain stupid.
But I do think that you can be kind, especially to your single friends to send a nice friendship card or something. Because Valentine's day pretty much sucks if you are single. And I think it is nice for them to know that they also are in someones mind, even as just a friend.
BTW I still write letters. I have several pen pals and I love to get handwritten letters and cards
Every day collecting my mail is the highlight of my day because chances are high there is something nice in there 
I agree with Uniflame. I think it's a nice gesture to send a note or something to single friends. My aunt never married and she always sends all her nieces and nephews cards (the kiddie Valentines) and I think it's a sweet and appropriate act.
My husband and I don't get each other gifts, but we do cards.
You should do your post "If he really loves you"…take submissions. I've got a list for you.
I feel a little giddy that you mentioned me & thought about my post
What a nice surprise!
But aside from all that… I don't know if i necessarily think it's a lovers holiday (I'll be giving my children a small valentine gift) I do agree that love is different for everyone. So this day? This day will be different for everyone. Some people don't want to knowledge it, some people just don't do it up big, and some people think it's important. But you've hit the bottom line here — it's different for everyone.
So yeah. Good post.
I couldn't have said it better myself, Melanie…I wish I had! As with most holidays, that pander to commercialism, Valentine's Day has that same issue. Love is the answer to all questions, and all fun and red hearts aside, it's a reminder to share a little love.
I hope you have a day full of love, every day.
Diane
Hubby and I barely acknowledge it. Sometimes there will be a card or something, but we do that randomly on OTHER days of the year, too.
But I don't think it's just for lovers. There were many years when the only card (or even acknowledgement) that I got was from my mother. And I appreciated the hell out of it! Not because I subscribe to the commercialization of Valentine's Day but because it was really touching that she thought I *might*.
I agree that is a day for love and mostly between lovers—however, now that we have the kids & school and all it is now become a Family Love Day. I get the boys a little chocolate or something like that—hubs gets what he gets
I make a nice dinner for hubs and I and pretty much it is left at that.Before kids—there were dinners, massages & Tiffany boxes (the last one was when Jett was a baby). I do not call up friends or anything like that—silly–I think. But when I was single, all my single friends and I acknowledged eachother. As an advanced in age adult—I sorta crack up at all the commercailism of everything & realize that is all for retail gain—New Year's, VDay, St Patty's Day, Easter, Mom's Day, Memorial Day, Dad's Day, 4 of July, Birthdays, Labor Day, Halloween, TDay & then Christmas! I am sure there are many, many more. I am always trying to find ways to make these moments special without buying much. I guess we humans' just like to have something to celebrate & I will find any reason to have a glass of wine;) xoC